why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
