Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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