i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
