new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
