I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
