My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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