At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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