I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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