What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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