that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
