to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
