the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
