Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
