I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
