Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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