I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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