I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I will pee on everything he values.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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