Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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