they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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