The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we're so committed to being not committed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
