remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
