am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
