My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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