He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
