Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
