i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
