this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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