STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
