He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
