I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
