I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
