Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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