eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
