i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize