Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
