Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i think i have herpe
just one?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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