We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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