Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
