If i come over, it means nothing
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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