I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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