No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
