On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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