Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
