Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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