the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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