Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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