Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
