Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
