Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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