you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
