Please, let me fuck your mom
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
