I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
