I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
