You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
