I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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