My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
