just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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