I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
